While growing up as a little girl, I remember associating with an all-girls group. Usually, we would decide on what attire to wear to school, or even what snacks to bring along, and several other decisions we took in common. You know, that ‘girls’ clique’ thing. Sometimes at recess, we would end up having a fallout with another totally different girls’ clique. We would just end up abusing one another. Though that wasn’t healthy, it was fun anyway. That group of girls made up my association.

No man is an island,” is a very commonly heard saying as regards association. It entails that no one is self-sufficient. That is to say that everyone relies on others. Hence, the need for humans to associate with one another. Your friends, work colleagues, families, etc can all make up your association. Truth be told, our associations, give us a sense of belonging.

But is it all about associating?


The question is, what impact would such an association make in your life?

Take for instance; the girls I had associated with, back in college, would always talk about boys, fashion, parties, and all the trending news on the media. Little or not at all, did we talk about purpose. Anyways, I wouldn’t blame us, perhaps our age and lack of exposure made us myopic. Later on, after college, I got attached to a new set of friends and individuals. These persons had something different to offer. Associating with them, made me realize what life was all about. It made me understand my purpose, as well as drew me closer to God. It was an association that helped in my personal growth and development. The latter was a better association.

Of course, it would be totally wrong to just associate with people or a set of persons, without a clear purpose or reason. Your association could either make or mar you. It can build, or bring you down. It can increase or retard your personal growth. Hence,  the reason to choose carefully who to associate with.

“What is my reason for joining this group?”

“What do I intend to gain from my connection with them?”

“What value would these persons add to my life?”

“Do they have the same vision as me?”

These and many more are questions that require a deep answer before you choose whom to associate with.

Don’t go about making every Tom, Dick, and Harry a friend, or associating with everyone who comes your way. Friendship is a choice, not a force. Those who have value to offer, those who would impact positively in your life, and those who are intentional about your personal growth, are the true friends and associates. Cling to them.

According to George Washington,

“Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your reputation. For it is better to be alone than in bad company.”

Written by Pamela Onyekwelu


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