Fuck Society – Here’s Why You Should Touch Yourself
Yes, I said it. Fuck society.
We’re all going to wake up someday, I believe. The reality will have to dawn on you that in many ways than one, society not only puts you in a box but also dictates your very life. Deny it as much as you want but one solid reason why the United States seem to have some kind of power lies in the liberation her citizens have taken back for themselves. I do not speak for everyone but a large number of people living overseas have gotten some form of revelation about the clarity of life and how freedom isn’t earned but taken.
Yes, I said it. Fuck society.
“It’s a black man’s country. We don’t do that over here?”
It’s an anthem now. Something to keep us from taking back our lives.
“We don’t do what over here?” You may ask.
It’s not far-fetched. I’ll tell you. We don’t do many things. For an exact example and for the purpose of this exposé – We don’t talk about sex or anything related to it. We don’t speak of it. We don’t accept those who do. It’s a taboo subject. Ask 99% of adolescents how they learned about sex and hear the truth you don’t want to admit. It could NEVER be from their parents. Which African parent would do that? Sit with their child and actually “teach” them about sex?
Okay, maybe a few. Let’s give them that little percentage. But let’s face it, truthfully and respectfully, fuck society.
I was surfing through the net the other day and stumbled into a post by Eva Alordiah. She had been lashed at and trolled by some cowardly Instagram users who called her out for saying she couldn’t get batteries for her vibrator. I took my sweet time to read the comments and it dawned on me. Goodness! The realization hit me like a slap to the face. You see, there are more hypocrites in Nigeria than there are mosquitoes. People pretend everyday, for a living, to get by, to be accepted, to be loved, liked or respected. I don’t know but it sickening and its a plague.
What exactly irks them so much about sex and sexual liberation? I mean, a lot of misinformed and deliberately-jackass people trooped to her page to say lots of trash. The way she handled them, I couldn’t be able to. I would have unleashed internet violence, verbal violence and the likes. I would definitely have no chill. The things they wantonly told her, about needing a real dick and getting a man, ahhh. Nigerians are just whack! We pretend not to be busy between the sheets. We pretend not to know what sex is. We pretend to be holy. We think we have a right over someone’s sex life. Yet, a large percentage of these people don’t even truly understand how to be free.
Which brings me to why you’re here. You want to know how this circle revolves? You want to know why I propose that you “know” your body?
It would amaze you to know that a lot of people do not know what pleases, pleasures or gets them to that “happy” place. Considering the role society plays in this sad omen, I take back my word. It really shouldn’t amaze you. Since everyone denies watching porn( yet Nigeria has a secret porn epidemic) and sex can’t be spoken of so freely, a lot of people die in silence. Pardon me, but it’s easier and accepted when a man touches himself, strokes himself, achieves orgasm and brags on social media how Vaseline jelly has been saving lives since 1802. When a woman does it, she’s shunned and told to go and get a dick? You see the point now? It doesn’t make any sense but what does make sense is not letting anyone control or bash you for exploring your own body.
I mean, how else do you hope to find out what that beautiful body of yours is capable of? Sex is great and all but hey, who says you can’t or shouldn’t explore yourself? Who says you need to give out your power to someone else? I’m not trying to make you a disciple of self gratification. I’m just someone who speaks what needs to be heard. If you find it repulsive, then don’t. It’s that easy. No pressure.
Just to be curious, why is it such a shame to learn how to touch yourself? That’s the million dollar question. The truth about it is that almost everyone does it (Almost!), so why are we all acting like it’s an alien thing? why aren’t we talking about it? There’s nothing shameful about it. Thankfully, we have some social media sex educators and experts springing up now, leaving the confines of their “Safe Space” and bringing the clarity to our doorsteps. Furthermore, sex toys have become a thing now. People are actively seeking out ways to gain the utmost pleasure and explore their bodies and that could never be a bad thing, not as society puts it.
The thing is, it’s harder for women. I mean, on a scale of one to ten, how many women achieve orgasm during sex? How many women fake it? Unless your man has all the time in the world to have sex with you and he also happens to be a magician, girl, he’s not going to know what works for you and what doesn’t. You’ll have to tell him. Imagine having to tell someone what you don’t even know!. It’s like learning on the job. He’ll have to rely on his past experience(s) with other women and hope to the heavens that they work. But the truth is, every woman is different and you know it.
Touching yourself is important because not only does it help you create a bond and connection with your body, it helps you discover what works and what doesn’t. It teaches you what you enjoy in bed. When you get to that point of understanding your body fully and you are able to grasp how it works sexually, then you can pass on that understanding to your partner and in turn, begin to enjoy great sex or work your way through it. Either way, you have unlocked a new level of understanding and intimacy which your body will thank you for.
Touching yourself helps with tension relief and stress. It’s like aspirin on a bad head day, only better!. The main point is that you’re focusing on yourself, what you’re feeling, learning about your body, how it works and building your confidence. Yes, getting to know your body gives you a kind of confidence in your sexual ability. No more naïve or mediocre shit. Although, it is not a guarantee that you’d reach the big O on your first try but some few lucky ones do. If it’s any consolation, some people have sex for years but still can’t get to the big O. You’re not going to achieve an orgasm overnight. It may take months or longer to figure out what soothes you, feels good or doesn’t but with some time, lots of practice and total body surrender, you’ll get there.
Being able to tell your partner what you want, how to “do” it and what makes you crazy in bed is not only empowering but sexy as hell. But first, you have to try to find out what works for you. The good thing is, there are no health risks associated with pleasuring yourself, unless you try to be a dare-devil or become addicted to it so much so that no one can make you orgasm and it becomes dangerous to not only you but everyone around you. You let everything suffer and go to blazes for a few minutes of self pleasure, that’s a big problem. Then, therapy would have to help you out. I really hope it does though.
The bottom line is, people make it sound like it’s a bad thing. Society even alienates you. Hello dear, self pleasure could never be a bad thing. Not now, not in a thousand years. A lot of people are maybe not disposed to it and that’s understandable. It’s a choice to not want to. Just don’t let society tell you or dictate to you how you should feel your feelings. Touch yourself, finger yourself, caress yourself, discover yourself. Do whatever. Darling, the world is your runway, take charge!.