On Your Knee… Get Set, PROPOSE!
On Your Knee… Get Set, PROPOSE!: I am not a romantic. I am a realist. I don’t live in a Steven Spielberg movie. I live in reality. I am not Western. I merely think and write Western. I am African. My identity is different from my mentality.
I value many things about Africanism; one of which is our penchant for Secrecy sometimes mistaken for duplicity or hypocrisy.
Most Africans by culture are deeply private and secretive people. Public displays and open affections are not our forte. And this modesty is one of the good things about Africa; something we ought to be proud of.
Some things are better confined to imaginations. Lack of secrecy and modesty is killing the West. Everything is out in the open. Nothing is left to the imagination.
To my point,
Everywhere on the Internet guys are going on their knees to propose marriage to young ladies. It’s almost as if there’s a cash prize up for grabs for the Best Proposal Of The Year. Folks go as far as hiring dancers/choreographers, singers, and cameramen just to give the lady a proposal that looks like a fairytale.
Nigerian guys too have joined the bandwagon. Trust Nigerians, we are masters of copycats. We perfect the art of imitation like no other.
Guys now propose marriage at airports, at gyms, at malls, at restaurants, at the clubs, on the road, in any and every open space ON THEIR KNEES! It has to be in public or else the juice is gone. It simply doesn’t make any sense to go through all that drama in private.
The whole idea, therefore, is public attention and social envy. You and the lady want the world to see what a Romeo and Juliet Reincarnation you both are. You want them to think that your relationship or love is like something from a romantic novel. It’s all for show. Not for love. And I challenge anyone to deny it.
There’s something off and inorganic about the new craze for public proposal on one knee by young African men. I can feel the pressure on most young African men in this Social Media Age to please their future wives by getting down on the knee and PROPOSE! The struggle is real.
Virtually all single millennial ladies have seen this type of novel-like propositions on social media and hope that one day some gentleman would make her fantasy come true. Any man who falls short fails the test. Hence, the genesis of the pressure on most men. Everyone wants to be seen as ‘romantic’ by the woman he loves. And getting on your knee to propose is the way to start.
Curiously, hate them or like them, our parents and grandparents stayed the course despite the hurdles in their marriages. Yet, going down one knee before a woman in public for marriage was unknown in their time. With our kneeing, divorce stats are going off the ceilings. Who are we fooling?
Like the 90s hit track says, ‘back to life, back to reality…‘, we must be jolted to reality and refuse to swallow hook, line, and sinker every western way.
Propose in secret and let’s celebrate your 50+ years in marriage in public.
Selah.
Written by Olakunle Allison
😊This one here is a really thought-provoking read. I was at many points confused. I understand that the writer, Olakunle is “non-Western” and all that, which is why I leave this writing to him understanding that wrinting is an Art and that Art is relative.
Omo leave plenty talk sha. Which one is “I can feel the pressure on most young African men in this Social Media Age to ‘please’ their future wives by getting down on the knee and PROPOSE!”? ‘Please’ their future wives by getting on the knee to propose. Lol them wan stand propose before? Is that why our Parents’ marriage supposedly stayed glued? Lol because of proposal abi romance?
See, my point exactly is ehn, I do not think the PDA and romantic gestures are or should exactly be the cause for divorce stats going off the clouds. There is no script to this marriage something. Let those who want to stay married, stay and those who’d prefer to stick out of their marriage, do whatever pleases their peace of mind. Romantic gestures as a cause for divorce is just ridiculous!