Years ago, I could have sworn I knew everything that I needed to know about sex. Okay, maybe not everything, but more than enough to get by.
I hadn’t even ever been laid at the time. So, I always thought that when the big day would come, I would impress whoever it was, and they wouldn’t ever believe that I came to this world as a virgin.
But goodness me, was I wrong! When that day came, I was enthusiastic…Wait! Was I? I already made up my mind that this was who I was going to do this with. (I’d do it over again, though, JSYK)
Like I was saying, the big day came. It was time for me to spread my legs and show this nigga what I’ve got, show him who’s the boss, and let him know that I don Dey this game; I’ve just never been practical. Then came the first thrust. My people believe me when I tell you it was giving
“JEHOVAH! My, oh my!”
I ran away ooo… Let me tell you now: I ran. I was not physically running, but I moved from my normal position to the edge of the bed countless times. I went on for a while sha. Yes oh! It didn’t happen that day; it ended up happening some other day. I think it’s the third time trying, or so…
There was pleasure, and there was pain.
“IF IT HASN’T ENTERED, YOU KNOW NOTHING!”
I was so embarrassed for myself. (Na lie oh.) A big girl like me, after all my research and all my skill acquisition, I could not take on manhood. Tufiakwa to me oh; an audacious, clear-thinking woman like myself. Omo this man humbled me and my knowledge. He tossed all my skills in the trash!
Before this incident, I could flow well in any mature conversation as if I’d been practical from birth. A guy I know told me one time that you’ll never know the real deal about sex until you’ve had it. I would usually keep quiet make I no argue with Am, because I felt like
“Make this one Dey play, me that knows the up and down… Taa… get out!“
But I didn’t say it out loud.
But my brothers and sisters, I stand before you today to tell you that, truly I say unto you, you’ll never really have the full knowledge of sex until you’ve had it. Don’t be like me, don’t embarrass yourself. Tell the young ones. Lol!!!
But seriously, just keep quiet; no too shows yourself because one ADAM or EVE is ready to humble you. OK yeah… bye.
