Caramel

Caramel

Caramel: I don’t use dating apps. Never had… but last week, I did and trust me when I say I don’t regret it. Not one bit. In fact, as I speak, I’ve got an “appointment” with one hunk of a man. Tall, dark, muscular – the Bolanle Ninalowo type, bearded – like those black Americans you see on Instagram, with lips to die for.

Ahhh, yes! Six-packs wey sure die!

I’m sure he works out twice a day. But tonight, I would know what other parts of his body he worked on too! *wink*

There are five types of men in this world.

1. The faithful ones.
2. The players
3. The side boyfriends
4. Sugar daddies

And then we have the Sweet Revenge Hunks.

My name is Katherine and this is my Cheat Revenge Story…

I had dated Maxwell for two months when he asked me to move in with him. I didn’t want to seem like a burden so I turned him down. He proposed the offer a month later after dinner one night. We both loved each other, or so I thought.

Na so see finish dey start…

Anyway, I moved my stuff to his one-bedroom apartment and rented out my place, as he suggested. The next few months were rosy. I knew he was the one for me. He was too good to be true. You know all these love scenes you see on TV? Yes… breakfast in bed, sex in the shower and “other” places, ice cream, late-night movies, shopping, Ahhh, brother did them all and more. We even spent one sweet evening in a swimming pool, drinking and laughing till 1 am. I was in love!

We would go clubbing, dance all night, and go to work with heightened states of hangovers. It was the best life. He would return with gifts like it was Valentine’s Day.

“Every day with you is Valentine’s day baby”

If you’ve ever had a love like this, you would understand. If you’ve ever had a love like this, you would know what I’m about to say.

No one believes it would end. That’s what I thought till he forgot our anniversary.

That morning, he was dressing up for work; I was expecting some big kiss and a bouquet of flower and a written note saying:

“Happy Anniversary Love”

I had carefully wrapped his gift the night before. I saved up a whooping sum for it and I wanted to surprise him. I had his secretary hide it in his office for me.

Tade, wherever you are in life, God will punish you!

That secretary…oh God!

Katie, calm down.

Okay… I’m calm

“Maxie, aren’t you forgetting something?”

I tipped him as he was leaving that morning. He looked at me funny.

“Umm. I don’t think so.”

Maybe he would remember when he sees the gift I got for him. I was super proud of myself. He gave me a peck and shut the door behind him. And so I waited…watching my phone like a mother hawk for that call. An hour passed. Two, three… midday. Nothing!

I called Tade, no response.

Ahhh. How? Didn’t he see the gift?

I had worried myself off to sleep when my phone rang. I jumped up. Finally!

It was my best friend, Ariya.

“Where are you?” She asked.

“At home” I groggily replied.

“Meet me at Wesley Road now!”

“Buhari dey share money?” I joked. She didn’t laugh.

“Okay. I’m coming”

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m not a fighter. In fact, I’m a slender 5ft 4 brown-skinned fragile lady but that afternoon…

I got down from the taxi, paid him off, and proceeded to a frantically waving female on the other side of the road.

“What’s happening Ariya?” I asked.

She didn’t respond. She dragged me into a shopping mall and pointed at a lovey-dovey couple, stealing kisses and giggling together.

“Isn’t that Maxwell?”

Was it?

I tried to go closer but she held me back.

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Cross-checking na” I replied.

“Do you want to cause a scene?”

“I just need to know if he’s the one”

As I approached them, I heard that very annoying laughter. Tade!

This was definitely her.

Unless Maxwell changed his shirt, this wasn’t what he wore to work. His hand was on her butt, gripping it like he didn’t have one at home.

“Maxie…” I called out softly.

I wasn’t sure. In case I was wrong. He froze. Tade turned, saw me and I could swear I saw a look of surprise on her face.

“Maxwell!” I called out again, this time, bolder.

He turned fully, dislodging his hand from her body.

Ahhh. My enemies have succeeded.

Ariya was standing behind me.

I was dumb. Speechless and Shocked. My own Maxie. Mr perfect. Mr soulmate. Ahhh.

“I can explain. This isn’t what it looks like”

Those words dared to fall out of his mouth.

Tade was very unmoved now. Chewing that retarded gum loudly like a prostitute.

When I finally found my voice…

“Are you sleeping with her?” I asked with tears welling in my eyes.

He couldn’t look at me.

“Answer me!”

Other customers were staring now. One brought out his phone to record. Ariya lunged at him.

“If you don’t put back that outdated phone into your pocket!..”

Maxwell nodded, trying to appear calm and collected.

“Why?” I asked him.

That was when the devil divided himself into two. One entered Tade and one into me.

“Why? He doesn’t love you anymore. You’re old news!” Her voice annoyed me.

“Say what now?” I asked her, approaching menacingly. I was ready for that fight.

She tried to cower behind Maxwell; I dragged her by the wig which she held on to.

“Didn’t your mother teach you to get your own man?” I asked her.

She was screaming now. Someone had called security. Ariya was fretting now.

“Katie, let’s go. These bouncers will soon be here!”

I wasn’t done. I yanked the wig off her almost bald head and threw it away. She tried to run… but that wasn’t happening either. I dragged her down, stripping her naked was my idea. I ripped her blouse and half. She was screaming “Maxwell!” Like the imbecile would save her. He just stood, confused. He knew better than to touch me. Ariya held me up and shoved me away from Tade gently.

“Katie, stop it! Let’s go!”

I was enraged. Tade? Ha… this stupid secretary that I would give tips whenever I stopped by his office. Ariya pushed me out amidst my shouts of…

“I’m not done with you yet!”

An hour later, I was seated in her car, crying like a baby. I didn’t want to go back home. Who was I kidding? I had no home. I was staying with my boyfriend… no, my cheating boyfriend.

That was the first straw. He apologized. When a romantic apologizes, you know how it looks like. He fired her and pledged undying love to me. Blah blah blah…

The cheating didn’t stop. It had only taken flight. The midnight calls, long travels, late nights, deleted texts, direct messages, etc. I knew he was cheating but I couldn’t do anything about it. I was too “in- love” to leave him. He knew this.

Men always assume two things…

1. You’ll never leave
2. You’ll always be faithful

And sadly, I was the two.

Until, one day…

We got into an argument about a certain Sade girl who wouldn’t stop calling him. He was drunk that night. He hit me. I mean, he BEAT. ME. UP

Ariya was there for me. I stayed at her place for a week. As usual, he came to plead, with flowers enough to choke a bride. On both knees, crying like he meant the lies he was spitting. I wasn’t the same person anymore.

I knew better than to believe a fine face in a fancy package like him.

I accepted him back…

But I had my own plans.

You see, when a man cheats, he does it without consideration.

But when a woman cheats… You know the rest.

So, I hatched my plans – created my profile in a well-known dating app. I’m one hell of a fine babe. It didn’t take long, I found my number 5. My sweet revenge!!!

I had ordered FentyxSavage lingerie earlier. When the package came, it was a dream come true. I was going to get it tonight. I wasn’t going to feel guilty.

“Wear something sexy…”

“I’ll blow your mind” I typed back

“Can’t wait”

“We have all night Freaky!” I typed again

“See you soon. “

I was set to go.

“I’m going out” I announced. He was watching football. He didn’t seem to care.

“I won’t be coming back tonight”

“Okay” he replied.

I grabbed my bag and headed out to the taxi waiting for me downstairs.

“Room 69” his voice sounded so sexy. Good Lord!

“Okay” I was shaking. Where was all that boldness earlier? Where was my vixen?

As soon as he opened the door, my legs wobbled. I was standing right in front of a real-life 6ft magazine model – Perfectly sculptured – He was tying a white towel around his waist. Nothing else. I was mesmerized.

“Wanna come in or are you just going to stare at me all night?”

Ha, he had dimples too! Somebody shoot me.

As I sauntered in, oh my ovaries. ..

Dim light, rose petals adorned the floor, candlelight, something that smelled like lavender and fresh velvet orange. I don’t know where the soft music was coming from but if you can’t feel The Weeknd, you can’t feel anything. I was already seduced. Anything else?

He hugged me from behind.

“Join me in the shower love” his voice sent sinister vibrations to wicked places.

At that moment, I knew…

I was going to fully enjoy this.

Revenge is best served hot.

Written by Pinklady Ohakah